dear diary, there's one guy yang memang my feelings toward him never fade???? like whut???? ok lah not lah every second, every hour, every day i'm thinking bout him, but still everytime we meet, i'm getting nervous???? i believe that the feelings that come back are feelings that never fade, so yea. i know him dah 10 years, wow that's so long. i tak perasan, dah tulis baru perasan. first time we together time 2012, then after that macam on off on off i don't know maybe high school kids time tu macam not matured enough, but now is different, we're just friend and he also move to other place plus we study far from each other so we rarely see each other pun, adalah setahun dalam sekali dua je jumpa, paling maximum pun 3 times la setahun jumpa. but everytime we meet, my feelings still there???? i still feel the excitement to meet him???? i don't know, deep down, there are still hopes (from me to him) and i feel like he feels the same??? & some of my friends told me, when he's in relationship with someone, macam ada je tak kena and end up split cause it's not going well because of me???? i don't know la since i dah lama tak in serious relationship (fling adalah sikit), so i taktau what to conclude. ok so i don't know, i have no partner pun right now (and not looking forward to have one pun) plus memang tak contact dengan anyone cause i feel like i wanna be with him, but not now. maybe later when the time will come. we like our current state (have feelings for each other but not rushing for anything and not put too much hopes in us) macam dapat, lagi bagus, takdapat takpela takde jodoh, contact pun tak selalu, tanya khabar ada lah dalam once in 2/3 months, dengar macam no effort kan tapi entah la, maybe we agree that this feelings is not our priority right now as there are many more things in life we need to focus on and achieve. maybe we believe kalau jodoh tak kemana gitchu, kalau tak jodoh sedih tu memang lah sedih but God has prepared the best things in our life, so just doa for the best but always prepare for the worst. In all, he's not going to read this pun but thank you for everything, even he knows every side of me (bright side and dark side) he still stay with me, treat me good like he always did. take good care of yourself, i only wish for your happiness and success <3
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May the good things find its way back to you <3 May your heart find the peace it has been searching for